So many people, so many visions, so many "soul and philosophy experts", who have explanations for everything, even love. But wait, they are experts, because other people say they are. Well, how about right now I say they are NOT? That was easy, now I own a pure and empty field of thoughts and feelings that are not intervened by anybody and anything. Now I can recreate from scratch!
I want to try a different dimension, where there are no unnecessary connections between living beings, only the desired and necessary ones exist. That would be cool! Too ideal? Well yes and no. YES – in comparison to my current dimension, where my imagination and knowledge have thick boundaries, but NO – in another dimension, with different rules and nature of existence. It is always "yes and no", but is always true and never false :)
New connections, that is what I need, I need more new connections! I got it!… And (in 5 seconds) – no what I need is not to loose existing connections, and try to make’em stronger.. And (5 seconds later) I need both! That is it – I just need both.
I know what really bores me, really, really bores me.. And sucks.. Not only it does suck, but it also sucks "me out of me" every day – "I live at work".. This is exactly what Darwinism is leading to, and that is exactly where I am. I am not that traveling musician, that I wanted to be so much.. I am not a free poet, no.. not anymore. I went corporate – what a "giving in", what a boring routine.
How to defeat the System? How do I? Can I? Of course! NOT, or "Yes, I can!" But besides CAN, how?
Confidence! Confidence rules! Sell it! I need to sell this System to that very System! Not bad.. But once it is sold, I’ll need to buy it back.. Catch 22 it is, as Yoda would say…
Something is "terribly missing", something is just not present here, or maybe present but leaking so badly, that its presence approaches its own absence with "unknownly" high speed. Maybe it’s my "self"? Hm..